I’m so frustrated because I want to be so much more than I am.
I feel worthless and mediocre. I just want to feel light and free like I did a few years ago.
Stacey Jean Speer (via m0re-adventurous)
I want to say I’d take you out to dinner, runs my toes over your ankle under the five-star tablecloth, but I’d actually just drive you to the highest cliff I could and shove my fingers in your mouth. I’d love you so hard you bruised from it, moaned into me that you wanted more. We’d find the kind of motel that people don’t use for anything else, fuck five times on a mattress that has seen thousands of lovers like us, bleeding over its sheets. You’d pretend not to know my name and, God, look at this — I am volatile for you, all fingernails and bent knees. Nothing about it would be tender, I’d be a gut wound and you wouldn’t even mind.
This isn’t the kind of love poem that promises anything permanent, this is the kind of love poem that says that I want to tear you apart just for the hell of it, want you naked, want you trembling. This is the kind of poem you don’t tell your parents about, go home the next morning with my name bruised onto your thigh, don’t speak of how we set the world on fire and clung together as it burned.
This is a dirty poem about the ways I would love you deep, like a disease. This is a dirty poem about how we leave ourselves in ruins. This is a dirty poem about the ashes of the war.
This is a Dirty Poem | d.a.s (via backshelfpoet)
Oh my goodness gosh, I used to be horribly insomniac so my doctor prescribed me ambien, and I only tried it twice because the first night i couldn’t fall asleep because it was triggering my restless leg syndrome, so i got up to take a walk, and got lost looking at my reflection in a window for two…
Ambien was one of my favorite parts of being in the hospital, honestly.
I would stay up for hours watching the patterns on the walls and the floor. I saw this in-between dimension that was filled with these gentle beings that just sort of loomed around.
I looked forward to it every night.